My Favorite Songs about Boston

If there was any question that Boston Pride runs deeper than any other city...


The Ducky Boys - "Boston, USA"

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists - "Bridges, Squares"

Big D and the Kid's Table - "Shining On"

The Welch Boys - "617"

Make Do and Mend - "Oak Square"

Dropkick Murphys - "For Boston" (really I could have put any DKM song here...)

American Nightmare - "There's a Black Hole in the Shadow of the Pru"

The Freeze - "Boston, Not LA"

Kings of Nuthin' - "Boston Bound"

Street Dogs - "Savin Hill"

Death Before Dishonor - "Boston Belongs to Me" (adaptation of Cock Sparrer's "England Belongs to Me")

The Mighty Mighty Bosstones - "I want my city back"

A BIT OF A STRETCH...

The Neighborhoods - "No Place Like Home" (okay... so it's not REALLY about Boston... but they were from Boston, and it's about home, sooooo...)

Have Heart - "Bostons" (More about Pat Flynn's relationship with his father... but we'll count it...)

McDonald's, according to the internet

I just started to type a long story about how I found myself reading Google Reviews of McDonald's restaurants in Massachusetts, but I think the reviews speak for themselves.  The thing that fascinated me the most was trying to figure out what the hell kind of person writes a review for McDonald's online... or rather, what the hell kind of person looks up reviews of McDonald's before they decide if they are going to eat there.

Here's what I found:

Some had issues with the restrictive menu...

Others had issues with the decor...

Some were able to see the silver lining...

A few individuals used the review platform to propose innovative business ideas...

Once in a while, a customer would see the beauty right underneath their feet...

Sometimes you just don't feel too strongly either way...

Other times you feel you've already said all there is to say...

Perhaps the best approach is to point out the pros and cons...

While some were taking McDonald's at face-value, others looked deeper into a conspiracy theory...

Thankfully, there are people on the internet to remind you that your time and body are valuable...

Some of them... um... uh... I really just don't know...

Never forget what put McDonald's on the map...

A true American pastime...

I... guess so?

But at the end of the day, hey, it's McDonald's...

If Jimi Hendrix were Korean...

...He'd sound something like this:

Social Not-working.

I spent a good amount of time today catching up on all that the internet has to offer.  Pardon me if you've seen these before, but these two pictures take top honors tonight.  Both are courtesy of BuzzFeed.

Facebook gold:

And OKCupid gold:

The "R" is for REVOLUTION

My thought process when going to the RMV is like this...
1) Dread the thought of sitting in those uncomfortable wooden benches for an hour.
2) Begin to think about ways to kill time while waiting for my number to be called.
3) Realize that I have a smartphone so the possibilities are ENDLESS.
4) Look forward to catching up on my podcasts/handheld games.
5) Get very excited to go to the RMV.

So there I was, tweeting away the day and laughing at the jokes coming through my earbuds, when I notice the sign in front of me...

So then my thought process went like this...
1) Get really disappointed that I'm going to have to put my phone away.
2) Realize that I can still listen to podcasts with my cell phone in my pocket.
3) Look around and realize EVERY PERSON IN THE RMV IS ON THEIR CELL PHONE.
4) Forget it, I'm taking a picture of this sign on Instagram... with my cell phone.
5) Get very excited that I'm an enemy of the state and got away with it.

Sorry if you're now scared of me for my pure badassery and first-world-anarchic ways.

Coheed and Cambria Live

My main concern when Coheed and Cambria came in studio was whether or not we'd have headphones big enough for Claudio's haircut.  As I'm sure you'll notice, we made it work.  If you have nice speakers, turn it up!  If not, this will probably sound pretty terrible...

Home Improvement

Some neighbors generously converted this skylight in the stairwell into a hybrid rainwater-collector and warm-air-sucker-outer.  Thanks guys!

St. Parking's Day

The thing that sucks about living in Boston on St. Patrick's Day.... rather, the thing that sucks THE MOST about living in Boston on St. Patrick's Day is that for a whole weekend, outsiders clog the main thoroughfares with their inability to navigate and/or park.

Case in point...

Last night I found myself driving in circles around the block looking for a place to park near my girlfriend's apartment.  The minivan pictured above was clearly enduring the same struggle.  We were driving behind them briefly until they found a spot.  Fifteen minutes and two driver-changes later, they still weren't parked, had hit the car in front of them multiple times, and were on the curb.  And yes, the entire time, my girlfriend and I found ourselves sitting in our car watching the trainwreck.  When we were finally able to find a parking spot, I politely asked if the owners of the minivan would let me park it for them before they blew out a tire or hit another car.

And I did.  Whatever.

The moral of the story is this:  If you plan on driving into Boston to celebrate your 1/16th Irish "heritage", please understand that some people live and work here.  If you're trying to get to one particular bar, I don't recommend GPS-ing your way there, and then trying to find parking nearby.  If you don't know the streets, you'll be driving in circles until last call.  Drive to Alewife, or Riverside, or some MBTA station outside the city with affordable rates and plenty of parking spaces.  That way, no worrying about parallel parking, you'll save a ton on gas, and free up the roads for the people who NEED to use them.

/rant

Speaking of Fung Wah...

Two things...

1) Carnival Cruise lines has officially become "Fung Wah of the Sea"

and

2) This guy nailed it:

Matt DMC

Just came across this quality throwback-pic, circa 2006, with hip hop legend DMC...

Even though he liked my style, my lackluster rhymes cost me the audition.  He told me to "walk this way" out the door.  Did I mention he didn't like me "walk this way" jokes either?

Slowpoke

I had a realization yesterday... I've been so focused on radio programming and the news over the last few years, that I've lost touch with the music and podcasts I used to listen to.  It's not that I haven't been listening to music at all, it's more that I got stuck in a trap of old technology and old bands.

Here's what I mean...  Until now:

-I've been listening to my own collection using my Zune (sooo 2008)

-I've been streaming using Pandora (sooo 2005)

-I've only been buying music from touring bands on vinyl (sooo 1970)

It's time to play catch up.

My first adventure yesterday was with TuneIn Radio. 

Until yesterday, I didn't realize what made it different from similar apps (like iHeart radio, which combines Pandora-esque custom radio stations with terrestrial radio stations... a great way to listen to Hot 96.9).  TuneIn not only allows you to listen to your favorite local FMs & AMs, but also police scanners (which is a great feature to have on full-blast when you're walking alone at night through Dorchester) and podcasts.  Should you chose to listen to a station in real-time, TuneIn adds to the visual/interactive experience by displaying the Twitter-feed of the show.  I currently use TuneIn on my Roku box through my TV, as well as my Droid 4 so that I can listen on the go.

My other late-pass is for Spotify:

Since music consumption went digital, large corporations and small-startups alike have been trying to capitalize on a more personalized streaming service.  Copyright issues and a crowded market have made it difficult for most of them to take off.  Inevitably, anyone who signs up for one of these services will end up having to pay, unless they're okay with hearing an advertisement between every song, which can completely kill the momentum of an album, and makes the experience no better than going on YouTube to listen to music.  Spotify puts the choice in your hands.  You CAN access their massive library for free, but you're only allowed to listen to so many songs, and with ads.  You can pay just a little more to stream without ads, or just a little more than that to listen on your mobile device, ad-free, and without a song-cap.  What really separates Spotify from the pack, however, is how easy they make the experience.  Rather than sending you to a slow website, Spotify Premium is downloaded to your desktop, and operates as a media player very similar to ITunes.  So to explain it another way... it's like owning the world's largest music collection on your computer, without having to download a single song, all for less than the cost of an album every month.

And with that, I've finally made it to 2011.  Wait for me in 2013, I'll be there shortly.

The Three Months of Christmas

If you're not too busy to take down a Christmas tree in your 20's, you're doing it wrong.  This one came down on March 9th, 2013...

You may notice the massive amount of droop-age coming from the star up top, complimented by the endless supply of dry needles underneath.  I would venture to guess that there are more needles where presents belong than there are on the branches.  As pleasant as it was to celebrate Christmas for a full quarter of my year, it was most fascinating watching the Christmas spirit wither away in real-time.

Anyways, if you're not a fan of recreational vacuuming, I don't recommend marathon-decorating.

Who's Gonna Ticket the Ticket-Givers?

Yesterday I got a parking ticket.  Today I spotted a Boston Parking Enforcement Officer parked on the sidewalk....

That means I can just give him back my ticket, right?

Would you like some ZZZZZ's with that?

To whoever goes on a Ben & Jerry's run and buys either of these two flavors: Did something happen in your childhood that made you the most boring person alive?

Seriously, you just looked past Cherry Garcia, Chunky Monkey, Half Baked, Late Night Snack, Karamel Sutra, Milk & Cookies, Phish Food, S'mores, AmeriCone Dream, EVEN FRIGGIN PLAIN OLD CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE DOUGH.... and you bought Vanilla.

You'll probably LOVE Ben & Jerry's upcoming new flavor, "nothing".  It's great... it's like ice cream, but there's no ice cream in it.  It's just an empty pint.  You can buy it for the same great low price, but not have to worry about the disgusting "tastes" and "flavors" and "fun" that you get with others.

RIP Fung Wah

To be honest, I'm amazed that they hung in there this long.

If you've ever traveled from Boston to New York City via the Fung Wah, or "Chinatown Bus", pat yourself on the back.  You made it out alive.  Celebrate every minute on this Earth that you have been blessed with since stepping off that rolling deathtrap.

And now the nightmare is over.

I, too, am a survivor.  Back in my day (2005, you know, the olden days) there was no BoltBus or MegaBus.  If you wanted to get to the big apple for less than the cost of a meal at the Panda Express, Fung Wah was your only option.  For those who never got to experience the thrill of putting your life in the hands of the most haphazard travel company in US history, allow me to document the journey...

When you first walk into the bus terminal at South Station, you begin scanning for the proper gate.  You see the comfortable airport-esque seating of the Peter Pan bus, the Greyhound, etc.  Scrolling digital marquees add a comforting glow to the room, reassuring travelers that they will reach their desired destinations in a safe, timely manner.  You start to wonder why you don't see a gate for the Fung Wah Bus, nor do you hear any Fung-Wah announcements over an intercom.  You're almost to the very end of the terminal when you hear someone yelling at you in broken English.  As you look to the poorly-lit far corner of the room, you realize that she is yelling "FUNG WAH!  FUNG WAH!" while waving from a folded char behind a very lackluster podium.  After hastily scribbling on your home-printed ticket, you're finally ready to board the hourly bus.

As for the interior, imagine being on a Greyhound bus, but without the TV's in the aisle, with seats about 22% as comfortable, and with the clientele akin to that of Walmart on a Tuesday morning at 10am.  If you do make it off the bus alive, chances are you've picked up a cold along the way.  Should you decide that the seats are too uncomfortable to catch a quick nap, might I suggest laying down behind the last row of seats, with your legs spilling out into the aisle.

Yes, I've done this.

No, they didn't try to stop me.  The drivers are always too determined to make good time that they will stop for NOTHING.  Not even just a quick stop for snacks/clean bathrooms (Oh yeah, speaking of which... don't use the bathroom on the Fung Wah bus.  If you do, don't touch ANYTHING).  The only major benefit to travelling this way was that you could get from Boston to New York in close to 3 hours, a trip which would normally take around 4.

LONG STORY SHORT... if you needed to get to NYC in the early-mid 2000's, the easiest way to pick out the right bus for you was this:

1) Fast
2) Cheap
3) Safe

Pick two.  No such bus existed with all three amenities.

If you wanted fast & cheap, you'd go with Fung Wah.  RIP.

Death and Taxes

Today, I return to the blog-o-sphere from the depths of tax hell.  Have you filed your taxes yet?  Here's your reminder:  THEY'RE DUE SOON.  Not that you'll do anything about it today, I'm sure.  A due date was merely a suggestion for me back in high school.

But when you finally get around to it, you'll notice something a little peculiar about the Massachusetts forms:

Do dead people get a tax break?  If so, check me off and come to my funeral!  The wake will be open-casket and open-bar.

Anne HaTHIEFway

A fellow producer tells me that Anne Hathaway may have stolen my haircut this weekend...

Solid haircut, Anne.  Solid.

I'm not just here for the paycheck

An anonymous coworker left this sign for me on my desk when I got in yesterday afternoon.  Whoever left it, please DO NOT reveal yourself.  To be honest, I prefer not knowing the context.

Instant Redneck

Hair extensions

+

Trucker Hat

+

Flannel

=

Instant Redneck

Is Twitter getting a little lonely?

I like how they just slipped it in there subtly...

Also, in case you were wondering where I've been for the past couple of days, I was busy with best-man duty for my best-bud's wedding.

I'm pretty sure enough pictures were taken that I have permanent red-eye IRL.

Is Awesome

I'm going to have to start thinking my post-titles through a little more.  Not that I ever use Bing, but I noticed that a good number of people are finding their way to my blog by Bing-searching "Matt Shearer Show", and this is what they see:

Great.

Zombie Apocalypse, Commercial-Free

The Walking Dead has officially replaced LOST as the show that makes me care way too much about people who don't exist.

And it's got me thinking about the impending Zombie Apocalypse.

If you've never watched The Walking Dead on AMC, it follows an ever-evolving group of plague-survivors trying to evade attacks from "walkers" (the show never once uses the term "Zombies"), as well as self-minded survivalist humans.  The latter is just a nice way of calling them a-holes.

Each season, the group seeks asylum at a presumably "safe" hideout, and SPOILER ALERT:  They never once even think to try a radio station.

They have NO idea what they're missing.  Seriously.  Allow me to give you a little tour of where I work and explain why a radio station is the perfect spot to ride out a Zombie Apocalypse...

SOUNDPROOF ROOMS EVERYWHERE

I just did a quick count, and Greater Media Boston has at least 20 rooms that offer complete aural-protection from attracting the attention of zombies.

HEAVY DOORS

Every door in the aforementioned soundproof rooms is at least 4-inches thick, with heavy-duty locks and double-pained glass.

THREE LAYERS OF LOCKED DOORS

Unless the zombies are former station employees with access cards, then I'm pretty sure we'll be safe in here.

FREE VEHICLES

All radio stations own branded-vehicles to promote their product remotely.  Most have 4-wheel drive, which, despite guzzling too much gas, can be very helpful in driving over bodies like a monster-truck.

SHOWERS

If I'm letting you crash my hiding spot, I expect the courtesy of freshness.

POWER TOOLS

Because zombie-brains are no match for a drill from the engineering department.

COMFORTABLE SLEEPING ARRANGEMENTS

I'm 6'1'' and could sleep for days on this thing.  Can't even say that about my own bed.

KITCHEN

Dishwasher included, feel free to throw your zombie-blood-soaked steak knives in with my used ramen-bowl.

BACKUP GENERATOR

When the power goes out, your chocolate-milk from the vending machine will taste just as fresh as when it came out of the chocolate cow.

and best of all... BROADCAST THE WHOLE THING LIVE!

Just please don't play "Thriller".  A little creativity goes a long way.  Feel free to take requests.

How to ruin your husband's Valentines Day

Every once in a while I like to browse Craigslist's "Free" section, to see if anyone's trying to get rid of anything that I totally don't need but convince myself that I do.  In the past, I've been able to score:

-A small filtered above-ground pool (similar to this one...)

-9 unopened boxes of frozen Celeste Pizzas (from a guy who bought 10 of them and decided they were gross after eating just one....)

-A half-pipe (yes, that's me as a college boy...)

But today, I came across something rather troubling.  Here's the link, if you're interested in ruining a stranger's day.  If the link gets taken down, the screenshot...

I can't believe these two got married before realizing that the comic-book collecting was tearing them apart.  This seems like a situation where the person should have known that he/she wasn't just marrying his/her fiance, but rather, the fiance AND Captain America.  Kind of like a pet, except an animated one... that doesn't actually exist... and was created to inspire childish fantasies in grown men and preteens alike.

But let's be real... no matter how much you hate your husband/wife/partner's hobby, if you're giving it away for FREE to some stranger on Craigslist on VALENTINES DAY, you might as well just hand him heart-shaped divorce papers.  Seriously, how do you expect the conversation to go when he gets home from work and discovers that his treasured collection (which he probably spent quite a bit of time and money building) is GONE?

"Hey honey, have you seen my Captain America comics?"

"Yes, I gave them away for free on Craigslist to save our marriage."

"Oh, I see.  Well then I guess you're all I have left... I love you baby."  :-*

All I'm saying... You better hope he doesn't notice until AFTER you get your chocolates.